What We Know

The band

Very little is known about the band at this time. Witness accounts say the band comprises between 1 and 13 people of European, Asian, and/or Arabic descent. They are said to possess an arsenal of instruments ranging from electric guitars to an old kitchen sink. Their impromptu performances range from 30 seconds to 13 hours and are performed with various disguises and under alternate band names. These shows are rarely announced, often in remote areas, and occasionally even without an audience. No one knows why.

The Music

Their music itself has been described as "every imaginable musical genre shoved into a blender and served to you by a deranged clown." Frantic spazzcore slips into ambient flamenco guitar which explodes into hardcore blastbeat, only to devolve into random explosive noise. And this is just the first few bars. Beginning in 2017, a series of videos began to emerge featuring original Shamalamamonkey music synched to obscure silent films. Access to these videos has been restricted pending an investigation, but some videos have been leaked.

The Themes

Although the band reportedly presents a jovial attitude on stage, their lyrics reveal a darker side including disillusionment, depression, anti-patriotism, oppression, societal depravity, anti-religion, desperation, and metal instability. These themes are interwoven in symbolism and playfulness.

The Investigation

On May 11, 2016 at approximately 1:10AM, Shamalamamonkey [redacted]...

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